WWTNRD?
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Sarah Von over at Yes and Yes wrote a kick-ass article today about the “Best Case Scenario Me.” In her post, she talks about how she handles crazy life situations: instead of saying, “What would this or that person do in this situation?” she asks instead, “What would the Best Case Scenario Me do in this situation?” In other words, if she were at top form, with no worries or craziness or whatnot, how would her ideal self handle adversity?
I feel like I’ve been learning to play out the “Best Case Scenario Me” (BCSM) more often in life, but didn’t really know how to explain it (thanks, Sarah, for the help!). I’ve found that the more I channel the BCSM, the more that me comes out and the more she reacts to situations in a way I’m proud of (yes, I realize I just referred to myself in both first and third person in the same sentence. Bite me).
So…this brings me to the story of how I slapped someone in the face back in November.
(I feel like I should say at the outset that I’m not the type of person who goes seeking confrontation, nor am I one that drinks to excess and acts crazy on a regular basis (not that I HAVEN’T gotten out-of-control drunk, but a few years ago I had an “incident” and I’ve made a vow to never ever be out of control that way again). I don’t hit people for fun, and I don’t think problems should be solved with physical contact or violence. So yeah, just so you know, I’m not part of a “Bad Girls Club” or anything like that.)
Anyway, The Boyfriend and I met some of our friends at a local bar. One of the guys had recently been having relationship troubles, and he showed up to the bar already drunk, and a little out of control. At the time I didn’t think too much of it because he was a friend of ours, and we’d make sure he didn’t get into any trouble.
Too bad we never saw that the trouble would be headed directly my way.
He and I chatted a bit, and then a catchy song came on. I pulled a silly dance move, which he saw as an opportunity to immediately pick me up, sling my legs around his waist, and dance with me like some sort of slutty rag doll. He put me down and we all kind of laughed…we’re all good friends, and he was just being silly, right?
The evening took a downhill turn from there. Without divulging too many details, let’s just say that his first dance with me was mild compared to the series of events after that. It was a bad night…one where I stupidly put up with the majority of his bad behavior with a confused smile as I thought, “He’s our friend…our friend would never really act this way toward me.”
Because I was being such a wuss about standing up for myself, no one really realized just how bad things were getting until they saw me slap the guy silly. Hard. Across the face. With all my might. (In all fairness, I did warn him it would happen, and in all fairness, he was being beyond disgusting and inappropriate.) At that point, everyone turned around and saw that our friend needed to be escorted out. The slap was the Best Case Scenario Me, but a me meted out far too late in the game.
All that to say, BCSM isn’t so silent or slow to act these days. Here’s just a few of the ways BCSM is rearing her crazy little head (beware, first and third person will be used in conjunction and with abandon):
BCSM is coming out even when it’s hard, even when no one else agrees with the situation, and even when it may cost her a friendship. - BCSM is forcing me to demand better of myself and for myself.
- BCSM doesn’t put up with shit.
- BCSM is learning to surround herself with good friends who will give her the “what-for” if she needs it, and she’s figuring out not to waste her time with people who would allow her to wallow in bad behavior.
- BCSM does the Right Thing.
- BCSM stays level headed and does what she needs to do even if she doesn’t feel like it (see: working out, eating right, turning off the TV and writing consistently).
- BCSM likes that she’s thirty.
- BCSM knows that relationships require two complete people coming together to make a good thing work. She doesn’t rely on anyone else to make up for her deficiencies…rather, she is happy with herself (i.e. she knows she’d be ok even if she weren’t in a relationship) and is humbled that a person would choose to share life with her, foibles and all.
What about you?
Head over to Yes and Yes to read Sarah's post!
Reader Comments (3)
hmm... I love this post. I've never thought of having a "best case scenario me" but I think I'm going to figure out who she is. Sometimes, being a little zany is a good thing. I had a friend tell me the other night that I drive a car in a very subdued colour, which he never expected from me... that I've gotten subdued in my old age.
I loved Sarah Von's post today on the BCSM, and your story is great. That guy really had it coming to him, and I love that you said the slap was part of the BCSM. I really expected you to talk about how it WASN'T an example of being at your best. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. It's not nice to slap, but sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to get out of a bad situation.
Melissa, I'm still figuring out BCSM, too. I hope she wants to try more "zany" in the future. :)
Vanessa, thanks. I definitely wish I had handled things differently early on, but oh well! Let me tell you, though, I won't let myself get that far into a situation again, that is for damn sure. :)