My Blog is not a Democracy (also titled: "The Delete Button is my Friend")

Yesterday, my wax video was featured on The Frisky.  It took no more than five minutes for this comment to appear on the video on YouTube:

What a stupid c*nt.

Errr...whaaat?

I was oddly phlegmatic as I deleted the comment and reset the video settings to "Don't allow comments." 

And my lack of emotional response somewhat bothers me.

Have we grown so accustomed to people being complete assholes on the internet that we now expect and are unsurprised by random personal attacks?  I am actually more surprised I haven't gotten comments like this before now...which also disturbs me.

Hell, I get more mad when someone corrects my grammar on here. 

But I guess the reason it doesn't piss me off more is because I realize that my blog is not a democracy.  That's right, *I* get to say what I want on here, but that doesn't mean everyone else does.  I don't let people come in my house and shit on my couch, why would I let trolls say horrible things on my blog?  What...just because they can?  Because they have an internet connection?  Yeah, sorry, no.

Free speech protection...does not extend to private homes or businesses. You may have the right to say what you like in a public forum, but you don’t have the right to enter a private home or business and do that. In such situations your right to free speech is subject to the discretion of the owner of that private forum.

I'm all for spirited debate.  I'm all for people even disagreeing with what I say.  In fact, I wrote a post awhile back on abuse where my snide tone read very badly (yeah, it sure sounded like I thought abuse was okay if someone "deserved it."  DEFINITELY not what I meant!).  A reader very promptly put me in my place in the comments.  Sure, it stung, but was it useful to my other readers?  Yes.  Did it teach me a lesson or challenge my thinking?  Absolutely.  But did she call me awful names and tell me I was an idiot?  No.  She kindly and firmly made her point.  And that's fine.  Comments like that can stay.

But comments that are not useful, and comments that are downright mean, cruel, or unhelpful get deleted.  Sorry.  Don't shit on my couch.  I made it nice here, and trolls don't get to fuck it up because they're miserable and hateful and twisted and mean.  Helllllllssss no. *wild finger pointing*

I pay for my site.  I know some blogging platforms are free.  Mine isn't.  My domain name isn't.  So that's my money I'm spending...my kingdom, my playground, and my little part-time business (no one said it was a lucrative business, but that's beside the point).  

When you visit someone else’s online community, you’re a guest in the owner’s online home. Behave accordingly. Your participation there is a privilege subject to their owner’s discretion.

So I guess that's why I'm not more upset.  I'm okay with the delete button.  And believe me, I've been called worse (one time I was called a "whoar" through e-mail...that was pretty upsetting.  I mean really..."WHOAR?"  Spellchecked in the face!). 

Bah, this guy said all this way better.

Comments

[Stace]

Hell yeah, I agree.
Rude comments are not helpful to anyone.

[That Kind Of Girl]

I hate trolls. Send the bridge crashing onto their dang heads.

I've got it lucky on my own blog: there are occasional trolls and obscene jerkwads (whose comments I always print but usually spend far too long crafting imaginary mental responses to), but most of my readers get that I somehow unwittingly put myself in the self-help racket, so they're positive and loyal and lovely dudes.

Not the case when my posts are picked up by local news blogs and read by thousands of people who aren't just coming to my blog because they've formed a readerly attachment to me. There's one blog that picks up my stuff sometimes where all the readers hate me so much that I've just stopped reading the dozens of passionately hateful comments I routinely pick up.

It's your space, dude. (Or, uh, should I say: "whoar"?) Do whatever the heck you want to do with it.

[Matt]

Thank you for posting this. In my experience it seems that people aren't necessarily "miserable and hateful and twisted and mean" but they actually think someone cares what they think.

Once I put as a status update "Absolutes are never true." The thing there is that I knew that my statement was an absolute, which would make my statement false while proving my point at the same time. Any person who put maybe more than a a couple seconds of thought into it might have seen that I was fully aware of the paradox, but I cannot tell you how many people decided to treat me like an idiot and post things like "That statement is an absolute," thereby making themselves feel superior while missing the point entirely!

Sorry to ramble but your post brought that memory back up and I never realized how angry that made me!

[Alison]

Uh. I've had a few rude comments lately. I could see why one of them was made, but if the commenter had read the entire post he or she would see that I had addressed the issue that was apparently so offensive.

Every time I get an e-mail that I have a comment, a little part of me is wondering if it's going to be rude. I hate that. Although I do have a free blog, I'm going to delete rude comments for now on. There's no pride in being downright rude for no reason while commenting anonymously. Delete! I would be ashamed to leave someone a comment like the rude ones I've received or seen.

[Jennifer]

Can I just say that I finally got a chance to see "the video". It made my day! Your comments at the end were hysterical. And as far as that less than polite person....they should know the c word is dirty and really should never be used regardless.

[Leslie in Toronto]

That post on the Frisky is what brought me here, but I am staying for the fun :) Thanks for not only showing the world what a bikini wax feels like (been there, bought the t-shirt), but for also being "naked".

[Erin @ Fierce Beagle]

Right. On.

[the naked redhead]

Thanks for the support, you guys!
@Stace--Thanks for visiting and commenting. Trolls definitely deserve to stay under the bridge from whence they came.
@TKOG--I imagine you get a lot of ridiculousness on other blogs. Good for you for just ignoring them....that kind of shit could keep a girl up at night. And you can call me a "whoar" anytime you'd like.
@Matt--I can totally understand your anger. You feel like you need to justify yourself, but then you're like, "How can people be so willfully dumb?!"
@Alison--Delete away, friend. Don't be scared of the haters. Not worth your time.
@Jennifer--Thanks! I"m glad you enjoyed the video. And yes, the c-word is awful and disgusting.
@Leslie--Thanks for stopping by! What's your wax t-shirt look like? I can only imagine... :D (Kidding! But wouldn't that be awesome, though!? A t-shirt commemorating your Brazilian? Ha!)
@Erin--Thanks...I know you feel me. :)

[make my boobs bigger]

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