Life Lesson #1: Three Coats of Primer

This is a new series wherein I chronicle life lessons I should have learned a long time ago but didn't. So now I'm writing them, for the public, in order to increase my chances of not forgetting this time, dammit.

They are written as though I am talking to myself, well, because I am.

Life Lesson #1: Don't ever paint a room a color that can't be covered with one coat of primer.

This includes the shade "raspberry" that you thought would be nice and girly in your bedroom. Yes, the color was painted as a form of rebellion against the bad relationship decisions you'd been making. And yes, it did a nice job of covering up what the former renter had slopped on the walls ("grape").

But there is nothing "girly" about cursing like a 48 year old male sailor after the third--THIRD!!-coat of primer still didn't do the trick of providing adequate coverage. You also didn't SMELL girly since you spent the better part of two days sweating it out amongst horrid paint fumes.

And let's not even get started on your hair.

My darling self, you know have better things to do with your time, like watching another episode of Downton Abbey, walking your dogs, or feeling guilty for watching another episode of Downton Abbey instead of walking your dogs.

Lesson learned.