HAPPY HOLIDAYS (DAMMIT!)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 at 6:00PM
Dear Internetz,
I'm sorry, but it really peeves me when people make it a point to say a very emphatic MERRY CHRISTMAS in response to my panoptic HAPPY HOLIDAYS. Here I am trying to be all sensitive and shit, and some person has to go and make me never want to be sensitive again to anyone...most especially that person.
Look, I'm not trying to make the Baby Jesus cry with my subtle tip-o'-the-hat to the fact that NOT EVERYONE in the whole world celebrates the birth of a deity during this time of year. I bet the MERRY CHRISTMAS-ERS would be real pissed if their MERRY CHRISTMAS was met with a beligerant HAPPY HANNUKAH or cantankerous JOYOUS KWANZAA. Jesus might be the reason for your season, friend, but give the rest of us a break, m-kay?
(Do I even need to insert a disclaimer here? That I don't hate Jesus? And that you're free to celebrate the birth of Jesus at this time of year? And that most of my family celebrates this way? Just checking. I'm pretty sure that it's just a few people ruining it for everyone else...like the kid in my third grade class who stole candy from the candy jar and then made it so we couldn't have a candy jar at all. The little bastard.)
I, for one, am just trying to hunker down and stay out of people's way this season. Besides the wonderful perk I get of not having to work for a week and a half, I kind of despise this time of year. I am not a total Scrooge--hence, my reason for wanting you all to have a HAPPY HOLIDAY--but I definitely try not to partake in too much of the madness. Except for my bottle of wine that I consume each year on Christmas Eve (from the bottle, while crying), I don't have a holiday tradition, so I won't push mine on you (though it's delightful, really) if you won't push yours on me. Deal?
Though, I'll admit, I do loves me some gingerbread. So a big thank you to the Baby Jesus for that. Yum.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Love,
TNR
PS--This isn't my last post before the holidays. Oh no.
Reader Comments (6)
I'll be joinging you, drinking the wine straight from the bottle, while crying.
woot woot
ouch! My right-wing-Christian-fundamentalist ears! >:D
OMG.....I have had this exact same rant at least five times in the past month......I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!
lol re: the wine. I think I'm definitely going to take up holiday drinking.
Augh! Marc Cornes! You're my favorite!
Melissa, I'm very sorry if I've offended you. Happy Holidays anyway. :D
And to Erin and Sami, holiday drinking is fantastic. Don't let anyone tell you different.
hahaha - no offense. I always joke about that when someone has a rant!