Divorce According to a 20-something Single Girl
by Carey McHutcheon from wwwdatingguide.com
A single girl's view of her newly divorced best friend.
I was out the other night with my single "Woo Girls" (Barney Stinson, get at me!), and we got to talking about our poor, poor friend Low Leslie (nickname has been changed to protect her identity and characterize her sadness), who is getting a - ugh, I can't bare to say the word - a divorce.
Ouf, can't believe I just uttered the D-word. Having a marriage fail is like ruining your Louboutin's in a surprise downpour on the way to work - utterly depressing and soul-destroying.
Now, her soon-to-be-ex-hubby was a total hottie but also a little hot under the collar, and even more hot and bothered when it came to younger women. So let's just say we are totes supportive of her decision. But it was amazing how we now had in our tight little Sunday brunch group, a divorcee. We wondered how to act around her: should we wear black? Were we allowed to mention words such as nuptials, flower girl, or joint bank account? Was she going to show up on Sunday hunched over, her chin hanging down to her collarbone and order NOT her usual mimosa but a hot water with lemon? Or would she show up still drunk from the previous night of cougar prowling and want to continue the party with a G and T? How embarrassing that could be for the rest of us.
As these questions made their way around the circle of mojitos and cosmopolitans we began to fret even more about what she would be like if we brought her out on the town with us? We could just imagine her trying to get into Bar 5 wearing some outfit from the Liz Claiborne collection (that's what spinsters wear right?).
Kel-dawg suggested we set her up with this cute guy Brian who worked at her accounting firm. Even if it was just for a romp in the hay to get her refreshed and back out there. But this led to some pretty disturbing revelations. How could we be so silly? Low-Les has had 7 years of marriage to explore her sexuality within the confines of a safe committed relationship (not to mention she no doubt tried to "spice things up" as a desperate attempt to keep the marriage boat from sinking), she's probably discovered she's into strap-ons and bondage. Again, how could Kelly work alongside Brian after subjecting him to our lonely, sex-starved girlfriend? Her actions reflect on the whole group.
Brit thought she'd turn into a bitter cow, and we wouldn't be able to talk about our relationships or the guys we found ourselves falling for without reminding her and getting angry, bitter snipes about how we're all kind of slutty. Because she threw those out on occasion anyway - it was bound to just get worse. It would stress us all out and we might end up with as many wrinkles as her.
But I think what concerned us most was how sad she might actually be. And angry. And hurt. We aren’t callous demons, you know. We do have hearts and veins that lead out to the tips of our perfectly manicured fingertips. After you put so much time and energy and love into something and someone, the devastation provoked by it's failure can change you a little bit. Was our friend going to be okay?
Nicole perked up, “I am not going to help her write an online dating profile. I don’t believe in that garbage. It undermines the sanctity of dating.”
Nicole is very conservative.
Turns out, Leslie was just fine. She was just as beautiful as she always was, still a smart dresser, and just a little heart broken. Not in any way the damaged goods we all anticipated, but a glistening pair of Manolos sitting on a back shelf at the Good Will.
Now we take our sexy spinster out on the town with us, because having been with a bad guy, she knows how spot the good ones.
Want more Carey? Find her at www.wwwdatingguide.com.