Dating Horror Stories: Stitch
Friday, October 23, 2009 at 9:00AMThis story comes from reader Stitch of 27 and a PhD. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that Stitch is one of the most highly educated readers of this blog (I wonder if she knows that I say "balls" a lot). Check out Stitch's blog here!
Looking back I have not been on a gazillion dates, thus my repertoire of creepiness is rather limited. But nonetheless, my horror story involves a guy I took a dance class with. I was in college, and since I'm SO clumsy (there's probably a picture of me next to the definition of clumsy in the dictionary), I was taking a salsa class to try and "cure" my clumsiness. This really .... mmm, ugly-but-good-dancer guy and I were dancing together. He made me a mix-CD of a bunch of my fave songs and at the end of each and EVERY class he would ask me out. I finally bit the bullet, and decided that since the end of the class was near I'd give him a shot.
I went out with him to watch a movie. My sis volunteered to go with me and a mutual guy friend, so I thought they could "buffer" out the situation. But ... my very special sister decides to watch a different movie with our friend after we had gotten our tickets, and I'm left all alone with ugly-guy. We had a decent conversation and stuff, but then I made fun of myself (criticizing my clumsiness or something) and he looked at me very seriously and said that the attitude of criticizing myself was a HUGE turnoff he'd noticed months ago. I'm thinking, dude ... if you noticed it THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU KEEP ASKING ME OUT!!! I was mortified.
On the drive home, we had a nice conversation (but I was till shocked). He then asked me when my first kiss had happened, I told him when and he asked me to kiss him at the end of the date. Yes! Ugly-dancer-guy asked me to kiss him after I had turned him off. What a nerve. So we never went out again (thank goodness), but he called me on ocassion. My lovely dad would always answer the phone (he's OCD so he HAD to know who was calling). It didn't matter how many times I told him not to answer calls from ugly-dancer guy.
The guy the goes off to a NASA space camp thingie, and calls me on ocassion. On New Year's eve he calls me. This was for the year 2000. I told him I had no special plans to celebrate this momentous ocassion, and I would more than likely stay home, watch movies and have a nice quiet evening. He criticizes me for being a WIMP (true, he said that) who stayed home to receive the year 2000. I hung up. He called twice, and I just ignored him (my dad was not home, thank goodness). Upon his return from the space thingie, he calls (AGAIN!!).
He came back home the day before classes started. I had this routine where I would shave, do my hair, etc, the night before classes started so would look all pretty for my first day of classes. He asked me out (AGAIN), and I was so mortified I insulted him. I mentioned the many times I felt insulted (during and after our date) and how pissed off it had made me, but since I barely knew him and my parents taught me to be polite I had smiled and moved on. He begged me to got out, he said he'd pick me up at home (45 mins away from where he lived) and make up for all the times I felt insulted (he never acknowledged he'd insulted me and criticized me for doing things his way).
I finally said, "my armpits and legs are SUPER hairy, and I don't plan to shave early JUST to go out with you. My hair is a mess and I won't get all made up for you so shut the hell up and leave me alone. Do not call, or I'lll call the police and say that you're harassing me."
Thankfully that did it. I only saw him again 2 years after, the day of our college graaduation. Thank GOD!!!! It was awful. After that I've tried my best not to go out on "mercy-dates", a term I use to describe going out on dates with not so good-looking guys.
HA! I love it..."I don't plan to shave early JUST to go out with you." Quite possibly the best "back-off" line I've ever heard. Don't forget to check out 27 and a PhD!
Check out all the Dating Horror Stories here, or submit your own to thenakedredhead (at) gmail (dot) com.
Reader Comments (1)
Ha ha ha!
That's a(nother) funny one!
I checked out her blog, Stitch and I have so many things in common.