"All I Want Is For You to be Happy" (and other things I wish I heard more often)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 8:00AM
I think one of the nicest things you can wish for someone is his or her happiness. And I mean, really, geniunely wish it. Want it. Crave it. Beyond hoping someone will be rich, or travel or make his dreams come true, or reach her goal weight, or get that house or car or promotion...to, at the end of the day, hope that person can lay his or her head down with contentment.
Not everyone wishes this for me. I know this, I've experienced it, I've heard it said (always with stipulation: "we want you to be happy, but only if you...").
So how do I do the Right Thing in this situation? I think all I can do is a) not make excuses for those who do not wish for my happiness ("It's their belief system," "They don't really understand me," "They mean well.") and b) wish for them what they refuse to wish for me.
Of course, as in all things of this nature, easier said than done.
Reader Comments (4)
How come the ones that are supposed to love and support you the most in the world end up being the ones that cause the most catastrophe to your happiness? Wouldn't it just be easier to let everyone enjoy their own happiness without judgement? I'm in the same boat though...just once it would be nice to know my happiness doesn't depend on someone else saying it's ok/acceptable/approved. Do we really need a hall pass for happiness?
both worthy goals, red
* to be connected to someone who wants happiness for you, whatever that may look like
* to wish that kind of happiness on others, even if they don't know how to do it for you
hhmmmnnnn....
Honestly I don't think other people (except our parents of course) can be genuinely happy for us. I think we're wired that way. Survival of the fittest. Which makes us all selfish bastards.
We are happy for a person we love because it makes us happy too that they've achieved something/did something good/etc.
It's very sad, really but that's just the way it is...
@Alex--I don't disagree with you, but I guess I should have been more clear. The people that don't wish the best for me ARE my family. I guess I just strive to hope the best for everyone in an attempt to make up for that disparity in my own life. But you're right...it's harder to hope it for people who are not related to you.