Thank God for C-bus

Lisa and I headed up to Cleveland yesterday for a Ray LaMontagne concert, and while Ray was great, I was less impressed by the city of Cleveland.  Perhaps it's the age of the city up north, but I've never been so thankful for Columbus' forthright grids and clearly labeled streets. 

This does not mean that the call of someplace warm year round isn't still echoing in my heart.  Ah, to be somewhere where a light sweater is all I need to combat a cool winter breeze...

Anyway, we visited several places in Cleveland, including the Museum of Contemporary Art, which featured adorable digital dragon-like creatures, and Lolita, a restaurant in the Tremont area.  The museum proved to be a pleasant surprise, with the restaurant less so (a tad heavy on the olive oil), though our service was fantastic.  I was more impressed with a tiny shop called Banyan Tree, that featured cool clothes and home accessories.

After a long day traipsing around an old city and hearing great music, I took the day today to clean and cook and get caught up on things, including a great read in Psychology Today about the real problem in long term relationships (it's probably you.)   Comments to follow shortly!

I hope all is well, Internets.  I've missed you the last few days.

Q and A with TNR!

You asked, I answered! (I know, I’m so popular and interesting!)

What happened to your writing, I don't remember what it was called, but it was an online thingy that you were going to try to do? –RandomClicker

I actually did do some work for/with Indie Columbus, but haven’t done anything lately with them due to my ridiculously busy schedule. You know, the one where I spend all my time being super incredible. Actually, though, these guys are doing pretty good stuff here in Columbus, and I hope to work with them again soon!

Why did you stop theater? –RandomClicker

I have several reasons for not doing community theatre in Columbus any more. First, it’s incredibly time consuming. Most rehearsals run for three to four hours every night, anywhere from four to six days a week. I just don’t have the time nor the desire to spend that much time away from my life.

Second, it’s hard to find community theatres in our area that are truly committed to doing all around good work. Columbus definitely has talent, but I wouldn’t say that execution of that talent is necessarily a strength. For instance, a local theatre put on a kick-ass production of the Vagina Monologues, with all the actresses bringing their A game. The set, however, well...um. Hm. Let’s just say I haven’t seen construction paper vaginas hanging from the ceiling before. It was a little distracting when an actress would walk on stage and hit her head on a cut-out snatch. Maybe I’m being a total diva, but I’ve been blessed enough to have gotten to do all around good work, and I guess I don’t want to settle for less anymore.

Third, I’ve fallen in love with two other art forms: improv and writing. I get my creative jollies that way, where before I felt like I was dying inside if I wasn’t on the stage.

How are babies made? –Some Dude

Well, when a man and woman love each other very much, they take off all their clothes and share a special hug. A VERY special, special hug.

Do you have any life or career goals?—Some Dude

No.

How old are you?--Anonymous

I’ll be thirty this year, asshole.

So, as you can see, SO many people want to know about my life! And I may or may not have made up some of these questions! Feel free to e-mail your questions at any time, because I will have PLENTY of time to answer them, what with not receiving questions and all.

Personal Responsibility vs. Boning Someone Who Isn't Your Partner

A few days ago, I asked you all to rank a series of harmful actions that can take place to ruin a relationship.  One reader, Amely (thanks again for reading!) ranked "crushes on someone who isn't your partner" as the biggest offense, before even boning down or "cheating".  When asked to explain her (his? sorry!) choice, she said:

i'm just afraid that crushings can go too far very easily

While I don't disagree with this statement as a simple truth--all crushes have potential to develop into something else--I do believe that all relationships and most matters of love have a strong element of personal responsibility or choice involved.

Here's why I don't have a problem with a crush in its initial stages.  Crushes are a purely physical, I can only assume that this one has TMJD. Stop clenching and relax, Vin.biological response to someone you find attractive.  This is why my friend Tom, who is super-straight, can have a "man crush" on Vin Diesel.  It's a mix of pheremones and hormones and the laws of attraction, and sometimes even timing. 

But here's where a little self-awareness plays a big role in relationships.  The difference between someone who can say, "Oh, I really think my co-worker is cute" and someone who says, "I'm sorry, it just happened" (and nothing ever "just happens"...but that's another topic for later) is simply, a moment of recognition.  One person recognizes a purely physical moment, another thinks they are "falling in love."

Each scenario offers a window of choice, a moment of recognition.  If I have a crush on someone I met randomly, and he happens to find me on Facebook and I accept his friend request, I have a choice.  How friendly am I?  Do I encourage my physical attraction to something more?  Do we get together for coffee?  Do we Twitter each other silly? (Meow.)

For me, I say, unequivocally, "no". But, I have had the fortune (unfortune?) of going through enough heartache and therapy to know myself well enough to recognize my feelings for what they are or are not. 

I get it, though.  When it comes to the matters of the heart, mind and loins, people do weird shit. 

Whirlwind Wednesday!!!!!! (STILL ENERGIZED!!!!!)

Too busy to blog, bitches!Howdy, folks! This week is proving to be super busy for me, so here’s a little flavor of what’s happening with me and the internetz:

Met with the beautiful and talented Maya Sayre today and gabbed about our TV show (for real! More details coming around air time.)

Sat in on a discussion panel featuring local coffee brewer extraordinaire, Andy Luck of Luck Bros. Coffee.

Drank a shit-ton of Hulk Smoothies.

Peed my pants when MIB compared his five-year-old daughter to a terrorist.

Loving this graph about what is really threatening America (of course, everything is relative. Most people would want to die by burger rather than beheading. Seems reasonable.)

My new favorite, go-to website for insane amounts of laughing.

I am over the Lohan family (BTW, please, PLEASE get on Twitter and read @dinalohan’s tweets. The woman obviously has NO idea what a “character count” is, and asks for help from tech on why her full tweets/dissertations aren’t publishing correctly. Hilarious.)

Some dude ranks what parts of a woman he checks out first (“her face”...uh-huh.  Right.)

What’s happening with you?

***ALSO, don’t forget...tomorrow I’ll be answering your questions! It’s your last chance to ask me deep, probing questions. (Meow). Use the e-mail form on the right sidebar, or just leave one in the comments section of any post.*** 

Energy Update!!!!!!! (Extra Exclamation Points for SO MUCH ENERGY!)

It's the mark of the end of the first week of our Energy Initiative, and I can say in all honesty:

THANK YOU, NINA!

This is not to say that everything went perfectly this week.  I found, very quickly, that getting up at the same time every morning was much more taxing than not eating sugar.  In fact, I only had a small bit of sugar on Saturday, while I overslept my wake-up call probably three out of seven days. 

Saturday marked the first day, though, that I noticed an obvious difference in my own natural energy stores.  It was wonderful.  It was a rewarding, full day of living, rather than a short day of sleeping until noon, bitching about not having enough time off, and then...sleeping...more.  I have also found throughout the week that I feel a bit more capable of making good decisions for my body when I'm not hopped up on caffeine or running on empty. 

This is good stuff, people, and it's not too late to start your own energy initiative.  Also, remember to follow our progress on Twitter with the hashtag #getenergized. You'll find yourself using gratuitous exclamation points in no time!!!!!!!!

Happy Chocolate Bunny Day!

Though my younger years were marked by long Easter Sundays spent in church, my adulthood finds me contentedly sitting nearly comatose on the sofa, full with a hearty breakfast and the perfect cup of coffee.  Whatever your belief system, I wanted to wish you a happy, fulfilled day with friends and family.

Also, Peeps will be on sale tomorrow!  BONUS!

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Don't forget, I'll be answering your questions this Thursday!  You can use the e-mail form on the right hand sidebar, or feel free to post them to the comments section here.

Friday Firsts: First Pregnancy Scare

Friday Firsts:  First Pregnancy Scare

Read about Jillian's "first" over at And Other Times

To be fair, every time I think I might be pregnant, it's a "scare."  My whole life, I have had about a negative zero desire to have children.  Occasionally, I'll see a kid and be like, "Ohh, that's cute!  It'd be fun to carry around!"  However, I'm sure most of you have realized by now that children should not be treated like a brand new purse.

Also, children cannot be packed away in a storage tote when you tire of them or get a new child.

Anyway--and this cracks me up--my very first pregnancy scare was when I was sixteen.  "But wait!" you say, "You were a virgin until you got married!"  Well, true, BUT I did have an incident when I was sixteen that, when mixed with a little ignorance and misinformation, convinced me I had made the ultimate teenage mistake.

I was spending the night at a friend's house, and her brother had some friends over, too.  (Side note:  Parents, this is just a dumb idea when kids are really close in age.  Things WILL happen.)  He and his friends were in the basement, and I snuck down for what I thought would be a fun time of horny teenage wrestling.  (Clothes on, of course, but you know, the kind of grappling where you can touch each other all over?  Yeah, that's it.) 

Well, he was already half asleep and apparently, he'd been having a REALLY nice dream.  He pulled me onto the couch with him for--again, stupid girl!--what I assumed was cuddle time.  Within two seconds, my sheltered little brain was like, "Oh my gosh...is that?  Is there...something...POKING me?"  He fell back to sleep to the sweet gyrations of his pelvis on or near my hip, and since he was the "big" spoon, I wasn't sure what was touching where, and I was wearing really short shorts!  And I had just read some column about people getting pregnant without having intercourse!  And now no good Christian man would ever want me because I'd been ruined!  And my parents would send me away, make me have the baby, then give it up for adoption!  And my whole life I'd wonder about that baby and be sad!

I had never been more happy for my period in my whole life.  Of course, now I know that I was in no danger at all, unless it was simply the danger of being incredibly dumb.  Either way...

NO BABIES.

Want more Friday Firsts?  Check out the archive!

Shiny New Car

Overheard at work:

Girl 1:  I have a mad crush on a guy who is not my boyfriend.  Is that okay?  I mean, that's normal, right?  Having crushes while being totally in love with someone else?

Girl 2:  Oh yeah, definitely.  I have crushes all the time!

Girl 1:  Oh good, because I sort of feel bad.

Girl 2:  There's nothing wrong with it...it's kind of like a shiny new car.

Girl 1:  Uhhh...

Girl 2:  You know, you have an old dependable car that you love?   But you see a shiny new car that you think is great?   But not to worry...OF COURSE you'll never even touch the new car, because what if you get in and spill something!

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Hahahaha...Is it wrong that I agree with this conversation?!  What do you guys think?  Is it okay to have crushes while you're in a relationship?

Rank It!

Help! I need your help ranking these not-so-great relationship actions. Here they are in no particular order:

• Friendly touch to someone who is not your partner
• Sleeping with someone who is not your partner
• Shoulder massage given/received from someone who is not your partner
• Kissing someone who is not your partner
• Daydreaming about someone who is not your partner
• Crushing on someone who is not your partner
• Cuddle-cuddle with someone who is not your partner
• Thinking about someone else during sex with your partner

Here’s my thought, from most harmful to least harmful:

1. Sleeping with someone who is not your partner
2. Kissing someone who is not your partner
3. Cuddle-cuddle with someone who is not your partner
4. Shoulder massage given/received from someone who is not your partner
5. Thinking about someone else during sex with your partner
6. Daydreaming about someone who is not your partner
7. Friendly touch to someone who is not your partner
8. Crushing on someone who is not your partner

What's your rank?

Q and A with TNR

You know you want to ask, and I want to answer!  Ask me anything:  about me, about relationships, about love, breakups, divorce, Roman Helmets...I WILL ANSWER!! 

Feel free to use the e-mail form on the right hand sidebar (right under the twitterfeed), and one week from today, you'll receive AMAZING INSIGHT AND WISDOM from a self-proclaimed EXPERT.  You'll also receive candor and most likely a little ridiculousness to boot.