Men vs. Women: Who is More Jealous?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009 at 11:00AMLast night, I asked The Boyfriend "who is more jealous, men or women?"
Without hesitation, he answered, "Men."
His explanation? "Men are more territorial. It's a competition thing. That's why men will go out and kill the dude who had sex with his girl, rather than take things out immediately on the girl."
I thought that was an interesting answer, mostly because I would have answered "women" as quickly as he answered "men". I think women are much more quick to be emotionally jealous about the little (sometimes non-existent) things...did he look at another girl? Was that girl flirting with him? Is she prettier than I? I am not a super jealous person, but I know I have resented women that I've never even met, simply for sharing a part of my man's life (hello, dumb ex-girlfriend!). For men, it seems more that they are jealous of what actually happens phsyically.
What do you think? Who is more jealous, women or men?
Reader Comments (8)
I think it depends. But as a girl, I totally agree with you. My BF and I have a pretty good handle on jealous-y type situations. We trust each other because we've proven we can be trusted. But on ocassion I get jealous of a friend or two. Like there's this new student in his department. I have not met her, but she seems like a totally rad girl. When the BF mentions her I get a bit irritated even though I do not know her (it's stupid, I know). I guess it might be because in a past relationship a girl who used to be a friend ended up marrying my ex less than a year after we broke up (that guy could not be strusted to begin with, but they started going out a few weeks after we officially broke up). I guess it sort of brings back those feelings of insecurity, because on a non-rational level you want to be his/her everything, to be his/her best friend and having a friend of the opposite sex who clicks with them brings some of those insecurity feelings to the surface.
I like your thinking, Stitch...so could we say that--broadly speaking--women are more territorial emotionally, while men are more territorial physically?
And I love the "non-rational level"...I try not to operate there, but sometimes it just happens. :)
Thanks Red! I think you are 100% correct, we ladies are more territorial on an emotional level. Guys may act in a more nature-driven way, just like you BF said. And when he said the thing about killing a guy before taking it on the GF, that was genious (and a bit Jerry Springer, haha, looks like you 2 should have your own sitcom). And I agree on the non-rational level, it's just that these crazy idead get in you head, I think partly fueled by all the episodes of Days of Our Lives and Julia Roberts/Sandra Bullock movies, ha!
Oh my boyfriend is definitely the more jealous one. He has trust issues from being cheated on in past relationships. Sometimes it really upsets me that he acts like he doesn't trust me. He says he just doesn't trust any other guys. It's really only an issue with one close guy friend of mine (who I am not remotely attracted to, we are JUST FRIENDS!). It actually offends me that he thinks I would hook up with this guy, because I absolutely wouldn't. I don't think there's anything I can say or do to convince him that he has nothing to worry about though. I had some jealousy issues for awhile with my first bf but have made a conscious effort not to be that way this time around.
I'm not a jealous person, maybe on occasion I am towards my friends. But in a positive way.
I however, have trust issues with men. Never use too til I had male roommates.
Now I know the games men play and can call bullshit long before they can even begin the game.....might be why I'm still single lol
Guys, I think.
I'm not at all the jealous type. I find it somewhat flattering when a girl on the street checks out my guy. And if the guy I'm with tries to flirt with someone else, well, he isn't my type and I won't waste my time with him.
I agree with your boyfriend. Men are more territorial. You know what comes to mind? Unfaithful with Diane Lane and Richard Gere and that yummy French guy. Gere killed the guy his wife was sleeping with, so yeah...
I am not jealous really, very rarely. I figure he's invested 8 years with me for a reason. Jealousy just drives people away and I like when women look at him, even if they flirt. He is friendly back but not a flirt and clearly lets them know he and I are together. Too many other things in life to get in a snit about.
Susan
www.undergroundcapecod.com
I've talked to a lot of guys who don't believe in emotional affairs, my bestie and my hubs included. I guess we women typically do put more emphasis on emotional relationships, thus we have more to be jealous about.