Worst Lines
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One of the worst "lines" I have ever heard was in high school. I was actually dating the guy who delivered it, and it was on the night of his Junior "banquet" (yeah, Christians don't do PROMS, you know, those hotbeds of teenage fornication and DANCING). So, he's driving me home in his parent's manual Hyundai, because I refused to be seen in the giant beast of a truck that he owned. This bending to my demands is obviously a big step for him, because he loved his truck and everything "cars". LOVED. He's holding my hand, and so far, it's been a somewhat uncomfortably romantic night, meaning, I'm not overly romantic, and he was, and I really didn't like him that much to begin with.
Awkward.
Anyway, we're almost to my house, and he's all sighs and puppy dog eyes, and he has to let go of my hand to downshift. He picks up my hand again, looks at me, and says softly, "It's times like these I wish I had an automatic."
I seriously almost laughed out loud.
However, I think this next one tops that. Worst text after a break up...ever? The girl dumped the guy for several reasons, one of which is that after two years of dating, he'd never said the "L" word. So imagine her, um, "surprise" when two weeks after the breakup, he texts:
"I realize why I love you now...you're totally hot but don't dress like a skank."
That one, I really did laugh out loud.
What are the worst lines YOU have ever heard? (BTW, if you don't know where to comment, it's at the end of this post in between "the naked redhead" and "share article".)
Reader Comments (5)
"All men are animals, its just our tails are in the front. Want to see my tail?"
That. Is. Amazing.
This one isn't quite as awful, but still hurtful all the same. The guy I had a mad crush on in college said to me,
"I really want to date...just not you."
Ouch.
My favorite is still when I told my boyfriend of a year that I loved him for the first time and he responded with "you're pretty great yourself." Classic.
Oh, also the time when (I was like 18, so give me a break) I asked him something like "When you look back on our relationship, how long would you ideally like to say we'd been together?" and he responded with "...uhh... six months...?"
OMG, this is hi-la-rious!!!! I hated when I went on dates with dudes who I really didn't like (I call them mercy dates) and this guy insulted me and praised me back-to-back. I can't remember how he "praised" me, but I said something which I can't remember and his insult was along the lines of "don't beat yourself down, you know what, that is what I hate about you." I'm like "excuse me, fucktard" .... never went on a date with him again. I'm thinking, I'm finally giving you the light of day and here you are acting like a complete asshole, goodbye fucktard! I mean, is you don't like something about me, say it in a nice way, don't say it on our first date, 30 minutes into it.
Ewww...what a jackoff.