As I Am
This website came about from a desire to write at my most uninhibited, “naked” self. My whole life had been dictated by the parameters and expectations of certain family and friends, and I found myself, consequently, editing myself in my life and my writing. So, I had a definite need to write in a space where I didn’t have to censor who I am in order not to piss off/disappoint certain people further. It may seem like cowardice, and maybe in a way it is, but believe me, dealing with these people in real life is hard enough without fielding further questions about my website where I say “fuck”.
That being said, my background is…different. I grew up in a conservative Christian home, and when I say “conservative”, I mean, my dad was “second in command” at the church I went to (God, of course, being head honcho). I toed that line well into my twenties, when I figured out something and nothing at all, and that is that I was pretty sure I didn’t fit into that life, and maybe never did. In the meantime, I was a good girl who followed all the rules, and tried to figure out how to be a woman with an opinion in a culture that squelches feminism, creativity and independence in general. In Christian college, I was literally pegged as a “bad” girl because I questioned things, I hated organized tea parties (which we were seriously taught how to give), and towards the end, started seeing eerie similarities between the American big business model and the modern evangelical church. I tried to fit in, (boy, I tried) but soon realized that the church as we know it has no place for me.
It also doesn’t help that I got divorced, love beer and count several homosexuals as my best friends.
So, now I’m stuck with a faith-based heritage and a wealth of knowledge, and am trying to reconcile that with what I now know to be true: we are here to love and to try. I still believe in a higher power; I’m not sure I know how not to believe in God, but I’ve come to accept that life exists outside the bubble and that we make choices every day to be better or worse than the day before.
And also, beer is good.
I currently reside in Columbus, Ohio, a midwestern city that’s growing but still a little shy on culture. Therefore, you get a mix of worlds here…diversity in the form of a huge gay population, first generation families, and college students, a few choice places for theatre and art, unique restaurants…and parking is still cheap. You get the fabulous and the mom jeans, all in one place. Man, is it good fodder for writing.
Good fodder exists as well in community theatre, dating post-bubble, a new interest in politics (especially pertaining to women), getting along with women (not very good at that one), and other such nonsense as I think of it.
I guess I should also tell you that I’m in my late twenties, I have red hair, I give other people fitness and diet advice that I don’t follow, work in the health field and in the last year racked up the debt equivalent of a third world country. Sweet.
Happy reading. Get naked.