thenakedredhead

Oh dear god…I hate accounting. Hate, hate, hate. That’s one of the big reasons that I haven’t been writing lately…accounting homework and the sheer amount of numbness that it causes my brain to feel.

I think I’d have the capacity to learn accounting, but the course writers have decided that we–communications people, i.e. non-numbers-that’s-what-the-accounting-department-is-for kind of people–should learn the contents of a twenty-eight chapter, 900 odd page book in six weeks. SIX. WEEKS. If you’d like us to read from the book out loud, or say prepare a power point presentation about how accountants often attend school for five years to learn this shit, or perhaps we could give the accountants some back rubs after performing a trust fall, then yes, we can do that. Anything else is laughable. Seriously. I laugh at myself in digust at my ineptitude. It’s sad. It’s that kid in third grade who still had to read with his finger along the words and couldn’t pronounce anything correctly…it’s that kind of situation.

I’m thinking that perhaps they believe this will humble us. Make us more aware of how awesome writing papers is. If that’s the case, I’M THERE. Gimme a paper, please…anything besides calculating a company’s break-even point and generally feeling like a jackass anytime I open my book. Thanks.

Other than that, life is getting away from me. I feel like a very wasteful person with my time. I sleep too much, eat everything possible in the wrong way, don’t exercise enough and spend a majority of my time wallowing in self-loathing…and being overly dramatic about how I feel at any given moment about things. It was pointed out to me–rather inadvertently, harshly and with an overly snotty tone–that I complain too much about school. Yes! I do! It’s all I have right now! And a million other things that I can’t say no to (and one thing–a cool play–that I did and regret it). Nonetheless, I don’t wish to be (too) annoying, so apart from this post, I will stop complaining about school.

But then what will I blame my lack of socialization on? How can I justify routine laziness without pretending to be studying? How can I continue to avoid working on things that are excruciating but undeniably rewarding?

I realized today that I had the germ for my little book idea nearly ten years ago. And guess what? I wrote two chapters. And then it was STOLEN for a big-screen feature film. All right, not stolen, but good ideas only last so long, and if you don’t capitalize on them first, someone else is bound to think of yours. And ever since then, I’ve been bitching and moaning in my little pea brain about how hard writing is, and no one will ever read it anyway, and it probably won’t be that good.

Oh dear god…I am annoying myself. Please stop reading, because this was just the grossest post ever. This was so, “Dear Diary, Why haven’t I started my period yet? Why can’t I be pretty like the other girls?”

I am over myself. Barf.

This entry was posted Monday, September 1st, 2008 at 7:54 pm and is filed under Things I Say That Probably Will Send Me To Hell, Emotional Nudity, The Naked Redhead Speaks, People Annoy Me. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.